Breaking a Heart To Change It. By Rubie Huber

One of the Great conversion stories of the Book of Mormon is found in Mosiah with the conversion of all of King Benjamin's people.  These people were all converted when they heard the testimony of their king and prophet.  The experienced a change in their hearts that made it so they had no more desire to sin.  As they said  as one in Mosiah 5:2 "...the Lord Omnipotent, which has wroght a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually."  They were changed by knowledge of "the infinite goodness of God, and the manifestations of the Spirit," (Mosiah 5:3)  I couldn't think of a better way to be converted unto the Lord and have your heart changed by him.  

Unfortunately though, sometimes Heavenly Father needs to resort to other means to change our hearts.  Once in Relief society , the lesson was on having a broken heart and contrite spirit.  In trying to explain a part of the lesson, sister Macintosh held up a tiny metal ball.  She said "this ball represents our hearts.  Sometimes we harden them so much that the only way Heavenly Father can get into them is to break them, he will never force his way in."  The object lesson made me think of my own experiences I had dealt with the previous year.  My senior year of high school I had been applying to different colleges and deciding where I wanted to go.  My mom threw out the idea of going to BYU, but I had been born and raised a Utah fan and couldn't ever see myself going there.  I planned on the University of Utah instead, which would mean that I would still live at home because it was only fifteen minutes away and it would be a waste of money to move up there.  Throughout the year I had many tough experiences.  Drama sprung up with my friends that I had never experienced before or anticipated.  It got so bad that I wouldn't eat lunch at school anymore but instead went home by myself.  A few friends in particular would not leave me alone but instead were a constant source of misery.  Different events happened and all trust was lost, and in the end all I was left with was a broken heart.  I didn't understand why I had to be put through so much misery, I didn't despair but trusted that there must have been some reason for the torture.  As I reviewed my choices for college I had been accepted to BYU and as I stacked it up against the University of Utah, the hour distance stuck out to me like a beacon of light, a way out of my terrible friend situation.  I swallowed my pride, and told my parents and family that I wanted to go to BYU.  I was still a little unsure if I would like it there, but just had to get out of my city so much that I was willing to go.  Now at BYU I realize that I was led here by the Lord.  I knew early on that he wanted me to go to the Y but was too stubborn to admit it, I had hardened my heart against his will, and so he had to break it in order to get in.   Now having been at BYU almost a full semester I have grown in ways that I know I couldn't have at any other school, I love it now for more than just the distance, I love it because it's what God wants for me. 

We all must go through trials, some are meant to make us stronger, and I believe some are meant to break our hearts.  It is sad when we are compelled to be humble ins such ways by our Heavenly Father, but we are imperfect, and when we harden our hearts to his will it is his only way of getting in.  As Alma explains to the poor Zoramites in Alma 32, it is better to be humble because of the word, but even if we are compelled it can be a blessing and is usually preparation for growth.  (Alma 32; 12-14)  

My sister who recently entered into the mission field, spoke of her conversion to the Lord's will during her Farewell talk.  She had been given the option of having her heart be changed by the word, or by being compelled to be humble, and like so many of us, chose the latter, involving herself in misery and pain.  She knew she should serve a mission just after hearing a talk by Elder Bednar, but pushed the thought out of her mind until over a year later.  Through that year she was faced with challenge after challenge and heart ache after heart ache.  It wasn't until that she was at her lowest of points and felt like she hadn't heard from Heavenly Father for a long time, that he gave her the revelation again to go on a mission.  She was so hungry for a manifestation of him by then, that she knew right away that she must obey the prompting that she finished her papers in a week and had her call to Milan Italy in another week.  Her heart was hardened and had to be broken.  Yet again Heavenly Father knew exactly what was needed to help her come to his will.  

That is one comfort that helps with the prospect of a Heavenly Father breaking your heart.  That we know through the scriptures and through prophetic revelation, that Heavenly Father loves us and only does what will help us most.  It is a comfort to know that we can avoid broken hearts if we try, by simply being obedient and humble from the beginning.  We know that just as we will never be tempted above what we can bear, we also will never be tried more than we can bear or more than we need.  In a fireside I went recently Elder Christopherson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke and testified to the truthfullness of this principle.  He stated that he took great comfort in the fact that every trial he has ever gone through or ever will go through, was tailor made just for him to produce the most growth, and the most happiness.  

I know that as mortal men and women we are in a fallen state, and must experience a change of heart in order to be happy.  We must reconcile ourselves to the will of God by changing our hearts to be centered around his son Jesus Christ.  I know that God loves us and only will ever do things that bring us the most joy and most happiness in the end.  I know that if we humble ourselves then we are better off than having to be compelled to be humbled.  I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the true church and will always teach us only things that will lead us to our Father in Heaven.  I say all these things in the name of his son and my savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.