by Katie Bourne
One night 4 years ago, I laid in bed contemplating whether i should read my scriptures. i had just gotten home form a 19 hour day, full of school, dance and other rehearsals. It was midnight and my decision was to get cozy and fall asleep. I woke around 3 am with the darkest feeling I have ever experienced. There was a huge pressure on my chest, which made it impossible to speak. I immediately began to call towards my Heavenly Father for help. Since I couldn't physically call out for him I silently prayed, there was nothing else I could do. After some time the pressure and feeling stopped, i turned on the lights and opened my scriptures for comfort. The first verse I read was 1 Nephi 10:6 "Wherefore, all mankind were in a lost and in a fallen state, and ever would be saved they should rely on this Redeemer." The footnotes for fallen read: death, spiritual. 2 Nephi 9:12 speaks of spiritual death as hell. A spiritual death; of your testimony, of not being able to feel the spirit, anything that is a spiritual death to you.
I definently felt a death of the spirit in my heart that night. I realized that I need to rely on my Redeemer in all things. Stephen Robinson put it beautifully, he said, "We often think that having faith in Christ means believing in his identity as the Son of God and the Savior of the world. But believing in Jesus' identity as the Christ is only the first half of it. The other half is believing in his ability, in his power to cleanse and to save - to make unworthy sons and daughters worthy." I know many who think that they have to do it all on their own. They know that Christ can and has done, but they choose to try and do it by themselves. this is not the way to live. Christ died for us, it is our responsibility to use what he has given to us, the atonement.
2 Nephi 9:28 says "...O the vainness and the frailties, and the foolishness of men! When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishenss and it profiteth them not..." Once again, this explains that we are foolish to rely on ourselves. We must rely on our Redeemer, we must believe in Christ. There is no other way.
Stephen Robinson states, "Not only must we believe that he is who he says he is, we must also believe that he can do what he says he can do. We must not only believe in Christ, we must also believe Christ when he says he can clean us up and make us celestial. He says that through his atoning blood, all mankind may be saved - and "all mankind" must logically include you and me. So until we accept the real possibility of our exaltation in the kingdom of God, we do not yet have faith in Christ; we do not yet believe." To me, this means learning to forgive and love ourselves. We don't always see the big picture, who we really can be. I know that i doubt i have potential and doubt i can be something amazing. But the Lord KNOWS all that we are, and all that we can become. That is why we must be like children and have no doubts that the lord knows. We must always be believing Christ.
Before receiving my Patriarchal blessing I felt really lost in the world. I didn't have a clear picture of where i was going. i believed in Christ, but i didn't believe Christ. Many children these days are confused and "finding themselves" in the wrong things, namely drugs and alcohol, etc. Stephen Robinson explains utilizing Christ in the paragraph. "If we believe only in Christ without believing Christ, then we are like people sitting in cold, dark houses surrounded by unused lamps and heaters, people who believe in electricity but who never throw the switch to turn on the power. People like this often pretend to themselves and to others that merely believing in electricity makes them warm and gives them light, but they still shiver in the dark unless they turn on the power. until we accept the power itself, beyond merely believing in the theory of the power, we cannot enjoy the warmth and the light. this is why genuine faith in Christ - active acceptance of his power and not just passive belief in his identity - is and must be the very first principle of the gospel." I challenge all of us to question whether we believe in Christ or simply believe Christ.
"Believing Christ"
-Stephen Robinson
pages 7-12
1 Nephi 10:6
2 Nephi 9:12
2Nephi 9:28
8 comments:
Katie-
I really liked the quotes you tied in to your blog. They create a picture that helps explain the concept of believing in Christ versus believing Christ in a unique parable.
I also like the topic; it makes the reader want to evaluate themselves and how they view Christ, and then to take action to improve upon those views.
Good job!
-Kelli
Katie, great personal experiences. I like the way you pose the problem of spiritual death and bring it to a Christ-centered essay. More breadth of support would be excellent, instead of just from the scriptures and Brother Robinson's (great) book.
Kaite,
I really liked how you broke down the meaning of believing in christ. Thank your for sharing such a personal experience at the start of your blog. It really helped me gain an even stronger testimony of reading the spritptures inorder to learn more than just chrit's identiy but also about his plan and how we can have a personal real realationship with him.
what an amazing experience. Thank you for being willing to share such a hard night with everyone.
I really appreciated your personal experience that you shared. I also loved the quite by Stephen Robinson. This was a wonderful blog. Thank you for sharing your testimony with us!
I have a close friend that went through much of the same thing as you talked about in the beginning of your blog. Thank you so much for sharing that experience.
I love your personal experiences shared in this blog. Thank you.
Absolutely LOVED the thought of not only believing IN Christ, but believing Him. Wow, that's something I've never thought about. Thank you, and for bearing your testimony that Jesus Christ is the only way. :)
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